At one point in my life, I thought I had it all. The house, the dog, the job, and the perfect relationship to go along with it. To my friends, we were the Will and Jada of New Orleans, LA and I liked it that way. There was a whole world out there that I did not have to experience.
EXPERIENCE----that's the key word. I.Would.Never.Experience. Just as fast as Ja Rule's career ended, so did my "life".
I now find myself in this world that seems all to familiar but yet so strange. I often find myself wanting to "bow" out the game because I'm not the most competitive player. As a Capricorn, there's one trait that is both a gift and a curse. Loyalty. In this "game" I find that loyalty has no place here and that often, the good guy always ends last. So, what does one do? I often ask myself, when did "love and relationships" become such an major percentage in my life? I mean, I can lie and say that I hate everything about being in love but you have to admit, the first stages feel so good :::wait a second........now breathe:::
Some would say that after my first relationship, I've become a tad bitter, and yes Marsha Ambrosius was right, "I'm just a lil bitter". What happened? My parents have been together for 30 years, my sister 11 years, and well..I can't keep a mate for more than 5 months. I think it's the expectation that the parental units have set, that leaves me always disappointed.
As I grow as a man, i've come to seek experiences. I'm not the bushy tailed, bright eyed, 22 year old that once believed in love and flying pigs. I'm actually quite pessimistic when it comes to relationships and people in general. I think someone once said, "I can not love because I can not trust"--yea, that's me. Nevertheless, i still want the experience. I mean..come on...Who doesn't? The chase, the first phone call,kiss, date, are all so addictive. I'm a druggie and I want the drug--but can we have it all? Can we, the players in the game, have the experience without hearth-ache, without the tears, without the fights?
Can we simply Experience? hmph...I don't know, but we shall see....These are my stories
